The Business of Life is sometimes about … the minuses that go with the pluses of life.

My friend Kate once said she wanted to be like Mariah Carey– it’s rumored she has her own personal “lighting crew” to make sure that she always looks her best.  Wherever she goes.  Ladies, we all know what she’s talking about — one trip to try on bathing suits at Macy’s and you come face-to-face with the damn fluorescents that add a 10 lbs and, how to do we say this? , a few more ripples where we were once smooth.  It’s enough to make you throw swear off Lycra and don the free-flowing freedom of a Mrs. Roper (oh, go Google “Three’s Company” if you don’t know) miu miu!

And now there’s Apple’s Facetime…

Oh My God.  Say hello to Facetime?

Oh, I think not.

I can tell you, unless you’re 25 or a man, Facetime is not kind.

Not kind.

In fact I’d prefer the Macy’s cubicle of self-loathing.  The hubby usually likes to Facetime me to say “good-night” to the kids.  It’s usually 6pm, and I’ve been kid-wrangling for at least 8 hours.  The make-up has melted off, the hair disheveled, I feel more Medusa than the Hot, Haute Missus at this point.

Facetime doesn’t have good light.

So crappy I look, and that little picture-in-picture?  A confidence-maker it is not.

Consider this a plea, or outright begging, for the rest of us that are not super-models or 20, for Apple to make some decent lighting to go with their HD Facetime.

Oh I forgot!  Yes, you read that right, Facetime is in HIGH DEFINITION.  Large pore, crow-feet lovin’ zit-tastic High-Def!

So perhaps I should add the addendum to my request — in addition to better lighting, how about some sort of Auto-Photoshopping/air-brushing?

Shave off some years, clean up the racoon-eyes, freshen up the skin.

Oh snap!

I AM the hot, haute Missus again!

Apple- Give me the Face to go with the Time!

Who would you pay millions to for an endorsement? Oh I see, Pantene has already voted… (Thanks to Boston Globe for the pix)

The Business of Life is saying… WTF?

Ever since Giselle came into the picture Tom Brady has been on the slippery slope to being… this.  The pony-tail wearing dude.  SBnation.com blogger Spencer Hall tweeted  – and this is the best one thus far – “Tom Brady with a ponytail is two agelines and going commando in pajama pants away from being a creepy pottery instructor.”

Perfect.  This is EXACTLY what you want when you’re a pro-athlete, who likes diversified revenue streams.

So please Giselle, bring the old Tom back.  If not for the faithful New England fans that, well, really don’t understand ponytails and salsa dancing, or even the hoards of female fans who miss clean-cut Brady, but for your bottom-line.  The cash.

The man, though a star, is not hot anymore.  Hot lookin’ pro-players are like hot models — people book them more.  You can understand that, right Giselle?  Tom, for most of his fan base, is no longer the young, cool boy-next-door that men what to have a beer with or women want to have beer licked off of them by.

He’s turning into the creepy pottery instructor.

Nobody buys crap from the creepy pottery instructor.

Not even crappy pottery.

It may not happen right now, Lord knows those sport agents built those contracts out for longevity — short of being caught with 28 mistresses — but it will happen. Soon. More so if he gets injured.

Le sigh… Ok peeps, I’ve tried my best. Perhaps La Giselle will take note.

Just in case you need help remembering, here’s what he used to look like:

Consider it a freebie.  On the house.  Consider it like a guide or blueprint.  Whatever Giselle, take the advice that seems no one has the heart to tell you (or you can’t understand? Is it a language barrier issue?) — tell the dude to put that “Pony” in the wood-chipper.  Goodness knows, that man isn’t going to tell you, he’s in full worship mode of his incredibly hot mega-model wife.  No one can blame him.  Really.  He’s reeks “good boy” (though there is some debate as to whether he reeks now, he does look a little greasy…)

Ciao for now,

LeBetsy

P.S.  No dancing either. That video of you is totally “white-man overbite” and… is so not helping.

SO. NOT. HELPING.

(Heeyyyy,  I JUST noticed that in the first picture and video, Brady is sponsored by Oral-B. Teeth. Not very sexy sponsor. A hair’s breath from dentures really. Quinky-dink? Perhaps.)

007--exploitation at it's finest. (Pix courtesy of http://bluray.ign.com)

The Business of Life is… fighting the good fight.

This time it’s about Annie Lennox (Oh heavenly 80s-90′s rock star) and her cause WeAreEquals, celebrating International Women’s Day, March 8th.

It’s about righting the equation between women and men. Equal pay for equal work, the right for women to feel safe, get an education and just treated in manner that is fair. Not too much to ask, for Annie this is a Brava! for the Diva.

And there is no better person than James Bond to deliver it.  This is a clever ad and it’s delivered beautifully.

Bravo for Daniel Craig for being up for the challenge– it was an inspired choice to use his most famous character to deliver the message, and an extra super bonus to have Dame Judi Dench for the voice over.

Annie, Daniel, Judi and WeAreEquals– you rock.

= SUPER-AWESOME CAR-MERCIAL!

The Business of Life loves Super-Bowl Commercials. Loves them. (Did I say love them?)  Loves them!

I love Super-Bowl Sunday (yes, you freakin’ jerks TM’d the phrase “Super Bowl” but noticed I’m talking about the day not the… umm, “Big Game.”)

Oh, honesty time: What I love are the parties.  The crappy half-time shows (Making fun of bad production values, oh I’m so your girl) but the game?  Whatever.  Sure, you’re heart-broken of elated your team lost or won just wait 364 more days and you’ll be over it.

But the commercials… oh for a marketing, creative and business-centric gal like myself…it’s… heaven. It’s a “shut-up-and-drink yer-Bud-and-leave-me-alone” because I’m transfixed.  And folks, it would seem Christmas came early as I think I’ve found the winner a whole 24+ hours a head of the game.  This is good news for me, as some of you might know, I’ll be flying to California on game day.

IMHO, VW’s “The Force” Passat commercial is the one to beat tomorrow.

My prediction we’re going to remember this spot long after we forget who won tomorrow.

“The Force” has broad-appeal: it’s nostaligic, sweet, funny and charming, it touches a potential consumer on all levels.  It also clever- it actively involves the car  (and it’s special features) into the storyline versus being just an accessory.  More memorable tie-in (and buy-in).

For advertisers it’s all about impressions, they get that by paying millions during the “Big Game” for the eyeballs watching — but it’s harder to finesse the quality of impression made. And VW did quality —  because if you’re in the market for a new car — you’ll probably add Passat (or at least think about it) to your potential list, even if you weren’t entertaining the idea of a four-door.

That’s why it get’s my vote today as the best in show for tomorrow.

And just to prove “The Force” (I couldn’t help myself, that spot is so freak’n charming) of a good commercial, here’s another “best in show” that did wonders for the brand Reebok. Here’s Reebok’s “Terry Tate: Office Linebacker”.  But (super-bonus brownie points, no Googling) can you tell me who the hell was in the game? My favorite part? Terry Tate saying “Heeeeeeeeey Janice!”

TheBusiness of Life is about celebrating birthdays… the way you’d like to.

Dad’s sick.

Drama. Drama.

Stress. Stress. Stress.

Oh shit and then it’s my birthday.

4-6″ of snow later, I contemplate shoveling my driveway or… to make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

For the dough of course.

“I’ll make it for the kids” I tell myself.  A treat on a day when school is canceled, cooped up inside and movie-ed out.

But it’s for the dough.

For me.

It’s my particular brand of crack — screw cake– especially oatmeal chocolate chip.

I’ve also decided to postpon my birthday, my real- celebrate the hell out of it- birthday for 6 mos.  I figure post-40, and given the past month, I’m allowed.  So mark yer calendars for July 21st and clear out the drunk tanks.

Hey… looky here, the dough’s ready.

Oh Happy Birthday to me.

And because it’s my birthday, here’s the song I like to rock to on my big (but not official) day.

Sometimes The Business of Life is All About the Boogie…

We’ve survived Holiday 2010.

Congrats all around. (High-Fives it.)

Looks like LeBetsy will be off  shortly to California to visit my family. As you may know, LeDad is battling Stage IV cancer, he had surgery 2 weeks ago and last Sunday had emergency brain surgery to excise 2 tumors. He’s in the best of care, Mom’s on the case, but circumstances necessitate the visit.

And for that reason it kinda bittersweet.

As Dickens’ stated, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

So it’s not all gloom, little ones. Because at these times we need to clutch onto the bits of joy that drift by. So as we close out 2010, a fave, DJ Earworm (seriously, check him out on YouTube, he’s wickedly talented) offers us the perfect boogie break.  Happiness sometimes is a few stolen moments of groove-shaking, so shake your money-makers to his mash-up “United States of Pop 2010.”

Enjoy my friends. See you on the other side.

The Business of Life is taking the a week off to get ready for Christmas.

It happens.

The wrapping.

The planning.

The cooking.

The cleaning.

So not that I don’t want to be here with you, working on the The Business of LIfe, but the business of life is working on TheBetsy. And I’ve decided to come back post-Xmas.

I hope and wish you all the very merriest of Holidays, whether they’ve past or in the future. Enjoy.

Good will toward all men.

I leave you a classic, Peanuts Christmas.

Thanks to The Guardian UK for the picture.

The Business of Life loves, loves, LOVES being turned onto new music.

Thanks to Campbell Seaton for turning me on to the tiny powerhouse known as Janelle Monáe. The Guardian put her at the top as their #1 album of the year. Bow-tied and gorgeous,  she’s genre defying in the vein of Outcast, Prince and David Bowie. That is to say, Ms. Monáe is super funky, fabulous and totally fearless.

And she’s totally right up my alley.

So enjoy.

Take a break and dance away.

In your cubicle,

your kitchen,

the U-bahn — tell them I said it was Ok.

Really.

Janelle Monáe’s “Tightrope”.  OMG… it’s like James Brown came back. But like younger, much hotter and more fabulous, if that’s possible. With rap.

Or try on  ”Dance or Die”.  (Dare you to try and count how many musical styles are in this one song…)

Sometimes The Business of Life is… to groove.

Love this remix of Nina Simone’s “Here Comes The Sun.”  Super gorgeous.  Super happy.

Downloaded it to my iPhone and, as soon as I can figure how to get the sucker up on my smaht (that’s Bostonian for “smart”) hubby-designed NAS I will be able to play in the house.

On 11.

Enjoy.

Actual picture of me. Cleaning attic. (Ok, not really.) Thanks manhattanministorage.com for the photo!

The Business of LIfe is brought to you today by… the crap I’ve accumulated.

And not the metaphysical kind.

If you’re reading this, I’ve Repunzelled myself in my attic…  probably sneezing up a store, clearing out 7 years of crap.

Why?  The clutter is overtaking my life.  What can’t fit in the attic, is in the 5th bedroom.  What can’t go in the 5th bedroom is in the exercise room (really, I have one — which means the previous owners took a very tiny room and threw up a mirror on one wall.)  What can’t fit in the exercise room is in the living room.  What can’t fit in the living room in taking over the dining room, which is my de facto office. Which the kids have asked, very sweetly, if we could actually eat dinner in the dining room.

How did LeBetsy get to this point?  Very simply, inertia and kids.  I arrived at my present abode 7+ months preggers with the twins, having moved 3 times in previous 3 years (one cross-country,) and I was done. Done with unpacking. Done with boxes. Fearful of moving yet again. The hubby and I got the basics done and left the rest in boxes in the living room and in our attic.  Now a funny thing happens with kids… they grow up.  They don’t need the prams (remember I had two!), the exersaucers, mobiles, baby linen, clothes, so on top of the “out-of-date, doesn’t-work” clutter you’ve got the kids crap to add.  And don’t EVEN get me started on the holiday decorations.

So your normally type A, super anal Le Betsy is now one step (ok, maybe 8 steps) removed from be on the show Hoarders.

So today, I’m taking it back. Take back my attic, my exercise room (just in time for New Year’s resolutions, oh goodie!), my dining room, the living room.  My attic will be ” nice, neat and super anally or it’s death” organized (hear that honey?)

Game on.

And when you think of me, Repunzelled up in the attic, I’ll be channelling, minus the rats and cockroaches, this: