Facetime – LeBetsy Rant.

The Business of Life is sometimes about … the minuses that go with the pluses of life.

My friend Kate once said she wanted to be like Mariah Carey– it’s rumored she has her own personal “lighting crew” to make sure that she always looks her best.  Wherever she goes.  Ladies, we all know what she’s talking about — one trip to try on bathing suits at Macy’s and you come face-to-face with the damn fluorescents that add a 10 lbs and, how to do we say this? , a few more ripples where we were once smooth.  It’s enough to make you throw swear off Lycra and don the free-flowing freedom of a Mrs. Roper (oh, go Google “Three’s Company” if you don’t know) miu miu!

And now there’s Apple’s Facetime…

Oh My God.  Say hello to Facetime?

Oh, I think not.

I can tell you, unless you’re 25 or a man, Facetime is not kind.

Not kind.

In fact I’d prefer the Macy’s cubicle of self-loathing.  The hubby usually likes to Facetime me to say “good-night” to the kids.  It’s usually 6pm, and I’ve been kid-wrangling for at least 8 hours.  The make-up has melted off, the hair disheveled, I feel more Medusa than the Hot, Haute Missus at this point.

Facetime doesn’t have good light.

So crappy I look, and that little picture-in-picture?  A confidence-maker it is not.

Consider this a plea, or outright begging, for the rest of us that are not super-models or 20, for Apple to make some decent lighting to go with their HD Facetime.

Oh I forgot!  Yes, you read that right, Facetime is in HIGH DEFINITION.  Large pore, crow-feet lovin’ zit-tastic High-Def!

So perhaps I should add the addendum to my request — in addition to better lighting, how about some sort of Auto-Photoshopping/air-brushing?

Shave off some years, clean up the racoon-eyes, freshen up the skin.

Oh snap!

I AM the hot, haute Missus again!

Apple- Give me the Face to go with the Time!