The Business of LIfe in One Swig

Dear Tom Brady’s Pony, Time To Go…

Posted by betsy in Dirty & Fabulous on Mar 10th, 2011 | one response

Who would you pay millions to for an endorsement? Oh I see, Pantene has already voted… (Thanks to Boston Globe for the pix)

The Business of Life is saying… WTF?

Ever since Giselle came into the picture Tom Brady has been on the slippery slope to being… this. The pony-tail wearing dude. SBnation.com blogger Spencer Hall tweeted – and this is the best one thus far – “Tom Brady with a ponytail is two agelines and going commando in pajama pants away from being a creepy pottery instructor.”

Perfect. This is EXACTLY what you want when you’re a pro-athlete, who likes diversified revenue streams.

So please Giselle, bring the old Tom back. If not for the faithful New England fans that, well, really don’t understand ponytails and salsa dancing, or even the hoards of female fans who miss clean-cut Brady, but for your bottom-line. The cash.

The man, though a star, is not hot anymore. Hot lookin’ pro-players are like hot models — people book them more. You can understand that, right Giselle? Tom, for most of his fan base, is no longer the young, cool boy-next-door that men what to have a beer with or women want to have beer licked off of them by.

He’s turning into the creepy pottery instructor.

Nobody buys crap from the creepy pottery instructor.

Not even crappy pottery.

It may not happen right now, Lord knows those sport agents built those contracts out for longevity — short of being caught with 28 mistresses — but it will happen. Soon. More so if he gets injured.

Le sigh… Ok peeps, I’ve tried my best. Perhaps La Giselle will take note.

Just in case you need help remembering, here’s what he used to look like:

Consider it a freebie. On the house. Consider it like a guide or blueprint. Whatever Giselle, take the advice that seems no one has the heart to tell you (or you can’t understand? Is it a language barrier issue?) — tell the dude to put that “Pony” in the wood-chipper. Goodness knows, that man isn’t going to tell you, he’s in full worship mode of his incredibly hot mega-model wife. No one can blame him. Really. He’s reeks “good boy” (though there is some debate as to whether he reeks now, he does look a little greasy…)

Ciao for now,

LeBetsy

P.S. No dancing either. That video of you is totally “white-man overbite” and… is so not helping.

SO. NOT. HELPING.

(Heeyyyy, I JUST noticed that in the first picture and video, Brady is sponsored by Oral-B. Teeth. Not very sexy sponsor. A hair’s breath from dentures really. Quinky-dink? Perhaps.)