Growing A Pair

Picture courtesy of Gawker.com

Personal growth comes in fits and starts.

Some of you are born audacious. Some are born with balls. Both real and metaphysical.

Others have to grow a pair.

I unfortunately have “selective” ones. When it comes to my family I’m fine. I can set limits without so much as a blink.

Even with others I can be direct- in business situations. But when it comes to the murky waters of pure social interaction–especially when you throw kids into the mix—I often find myself lacking.

You know, social rites and requirements. The “high school” of life. These are the hardest for me.

Sometimes when I’m confronted or having a disagreement, especially when it’s unexpected, I seem to forget to pack the big pair. I admire those whose first instinct is to fire back with both barrels. I default on to not making too many waves. It also doesn’t help that I am the one that can see the issue from all sides. Great for marketing, product creation but not so great in a disagreement with a friend. In these scenarios I need time to digest, analyze, reformat.

Here’s my modus operandi. Play fair. Be nice. Be upfront. Be liked. By everyone.

To a fault.

I know, I know, I can even hear my mother’s voice,circa 1987, “You can’t be everyone’s friend, nor do you want to.”  Call me crazy, but I will try really hard to be liked. Sometimes too much. Sometimes to my own detriment.

And that’s the problem. You can’t always be liked. Sometimes it cannot be helped. Sometimes friendships are destroyed and it happens. It’s hard for me to accept.

Buddhist followers say you play the same metaphysical storyline until you learn.

So I’m ready to change my story. Be more direct. Set limits and commit to them. Accept the fallout, however uncomfortable it might be.

Take a deep breath.

Time for a re-write.

I must not be the only one that feels this way.