The World’s Greatest Thermometer

No kidding.

Imagine this.

You’re get up, you feel just awful or maybe it’s one of your kids (if you have them.)

You need to take a temperature. Now. You stumble into the bathroom looking for a thermometer. Is it the old fashion mercury don’t-drop-and-break-it-or-you-instantly-lose-braincells-from-exposure? Maybe it’s the 5 min or 2 minute stick in the ear variety? Or, as LeBetsy shudders,  the rectal baby thermometer.

Whatever. You’ve managed to locate the damn thing but you can barely see ’cause your contacts are out or you have a severe case of eye boogers, or both…

Desperately you try to get the temp, did you wait long enough? Was that a beep? Yes… no.. yes? Crap, you did it wrong. Do-over.

All you want to do is take the damn temp, take the appropriate meds and limp back to bed.

By now, you’re more awake, paying attention and you got it. The Temp! YOU GOT IT! You (or your significant other you’re dealing with) REALLY IS sick. Meds. Bed.

And now you can’t sleep. You’re awake.

Damn.

Short of a shot of NyQuil, you’re not sleeping. But it’s too late for that.

And you have work tomorrow.

This totally sucks.

Stress no more.

Enter in the World’s Greatest Thermometer!

Hooray!

Not as sexy as a Porsche but when it’s that late (or early depending how you look at it,) it starts to look pretty damn fiiiine.

Meet The Exergen Temporal Artery Thermometer.

Having twins, when one gets sick about 3 days later the other would also be projectile vomiting. Crying babies (in stereo!) and taking temperatures any other way was not an option. Our pediatrician introduced us to the Temporal Artery Thermometer, they use it to take all the kids temp at each apt. One quick swipe, maybe 3 secs, and WHAMO! temperature is taken.

(Cue heavenly sent savior music)

What no kids? I tell you, I don’t care if you’re Old Mother Hubbard or one of the boys from Entourage, you need this. Nothing stinks than being sick and having to wait for confirmation that, yes, you are feeling like crap for a reason. Especially at 3:30 am.

It’s also much more hygienic, no shared bodily fluids as it’s a swipe across the head.

Best deal- it’s  freakin cheap (around $33!!) and super easy to find.

Go to your Walgreens or Babies’R'Us (if you’re single say you’re shopping for a shower gift!), Walmart, CostCo and Sam’s Clubs.

Or make it easy and get it at Amazon.

Speaking of baby shower gifts, it’s not the cutest present, but this is what I give. And I always get a call from the new mother thanking me. It’s usually starts “I thought it was an odd gift, but last night at 3:30am (and it’s always 3:30am, why, I don’t know.)….” and ends with “and it saved our sanity!”

I should be on commission.

3 Responses to “The World’s Greatest Thermometer”

1. Christopher says:

   April 8, 2010 at 3:42 AM

   I have the same one, it died twice on me. I also cannot get it to read consistently 90% of the time. I ended up switching to an ear one from Reli On. Luckily we haven’t needed it much since we switched.
2. betsy says:

   April 8, 2010 at 7:32 AM

   That stinks. We’ve had two as well only because the first died a horrible death at the hands of a 2 year old. (can it survived dropped repeatedly to prove, yes, it won’t bounce like a ball?) But ours have been no worries- great.
3. Arthur Stoudmire says:

   January 28, 2011 at 10:26 AM

   I’ve found the in-ear thermometers can give a reading that’s off if the baby’s ear canal is too small. The forehead or temporal thermometers can be a better choice in that case. Plus I’ve found multiple household uses for the “gun” style infrared thermometers.