DD13: Out and (Not) About
Bridget Jones’s Update of Day 13: BMI: Nope. See below. Activity Level: Nope. See below. Meditation: YES! While laying down (see below) I was able to quietly close eyes and do the “Sit on a chair feel every part of your body” exercise outlined in Clean Detox. Brief Observations: Chills are subsiding but, the back pain supersedes all. Especially if you can’t take Advil.
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My back went out. An old college volleyball injury, I used to “whip” my back to gain power when I would hit. This, of course, bit me in the ass, so I was an 19 year-old going to physical therapy and told “[La Bets, you] have the back of a 50 year-old.”
Sweet.
Today, when I picked up Baby Lug to get him in the bath, the 35+ lb of wiggly, giggle, burnin’ loving totally threw my back out. It’s probably not good to lift Baby L. on a regular basis, as if he’s… well, a baby. He isn’t. He’s more little boy, which saddens me– the baby is no longer the baby. Sigh.
Unhinged as I was, and in tremendous pain, I spent the better part of the entire day laying down in bed, overturned turtle-style, trying to recover. Clean also means no Advil. Which stinks. Being hurt means no exercise, no yoga. Double Stinks. I was really looking forward to two good days of workouts and yoga. I really, really like the yoga, especially if it includes a good friend or two. 
So being the overturned turtle, I focused on getting plenty of rest, water, and healing. And reading. Lots and lots of reading. On the swanky Kindle Wireless Reading Device
On the plus side, I’ve seen children’s books, illustrations and all, come out beautifully (if black/ white & shades of gray) on the much larger Kindle DX
What I can say is that, being Day 13, I’ve been waiting for some key signs of more detox. Namely mucous elimination. TMI or whatnot, but by this time I should see real tangle evidence. This could be from my indiscretion of 2 days ago? Maybe. But outside of great skin (though I’ve had a few spectacular blemishes), alertness, heightened energy… perhaps I complain too much? Perhaps.
I also find it interesting and amusing that my homie-in-detox is none other than Martha Stewart. She recently had Clean Detox founder Dr. Alejandro Junger on. Oh did our Marta look good! She waxed on about Clean and the program and we got to hear from a staff member how lost 13lbs in the first 2 weeks. Not bad sisters. Fist pumps all around.
Here’s it is:
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DD:12 The Quick & Dirty
Bridget Jones’s Update of Day 12: BMI: Did not get a chance to weigh myself this morning to calculate BMI properly. Important to weigh same time of day, so if I posted a number it’ll be a guesstimate and pretty much defeats the purpose to the entry. Activity Level: Day off. Meditation: None. Not happy about it. Brief Observations: Ok, these night chills are really getting annoying. I wish they’d go one way (sickness) or go away. Also now exhibiting monstrous snoring episodes while asleep. I get those if I’m super tired or pregnant. I’ll go with the former, as the latter means it’s the second Immaculate conception, and we all best go to church and get ready… Either way the Husband is getting no sleep. Poor kid.
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I’m making this brief. To the point. Like Dirty Harry. Just Dirty Harriet-style.
I made it through the Daisy meeting just fine. What I did find out is this:
1. Your average 6 year old little girl is both older and younger than you think;
2. We don’t pay the teachers and caregivers of our children near enough.
With 10 little girls, 1 harbor master, 2 bottles of juice, 1 dozen Duncan Hines electric blue frosted and goldfish bejeweled cupcakes, kits for making your own candy necklaces and another, rather cool, Mom in attendance, I still felt like I was the Mom pretending to be one of those totally together Moms I went to Daisies (then it was called Mini-Scouts.) And I also believe some of the little Daisies that attended, were in fact, a 50 year-old social-commentators in little-girl drag. I have my suspicions. Will keep you posted.
So, these night chills are freaking me out. I think it has to do with Clean Detox, though 99% of what I’ve read says I should be having night sweats. It hasn’t turned into anything else, like a cold or flu. I’ve even consulted with online menopausal sites, with no success (which might be good thing.) I guess with any detox, from coffee to heroin to just plain living in a toxic world, can come in all shapes and forms. Some people have freaky Snakes-on-a-plane dreams, others may have headaches, night sweats or, like moi, just have the chills.
Whatever I hope it changes soon.
Just chillin’,
La Bets
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DD11: Goldfish Cupcakes & Cartman’s “Respect Authori-TAH!”
Bridget Jones’s Update of Day 11: BMI: 25.1(+ 0.1) Up. A little. I don’t get it. Starting to examine intake- yesterday went a little over board on snacking… Oy Vey. Activity Level: Worked out, 177 calories burned. I really like EA Sports Active, as it predicts, and calculates final caloric burn. Dislike the crappy strap band, it’s weak or I’m kicking ass. Will go into more in full TLB review later. Meditation: Whilst Baby Lug watched some TV, Mom closed eyes and spent 20 mins focusing just on breathing and nothing else. At the end, I was relaxed. Nice to know you can fit it in anywhere. Brief Observations: I am having severe bouts with the chills. Days of it. Am I getting sick? I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop (sneezing, flu, fever) but it doesn’t come. Just don’t get it. Part of Detox?
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I slipped.
After yesterday’s blog post, I really hate writing this.
How the mighty fall. I don’t blame anything, I ate absentmindedly. Crap.
My daughter, The Toaster, belongs to the six-year-old division of Girl Scouts. Daisies. Totally super-cute.
I’m in charge of tomorrow meeting, the theme being “Respect Authority.” Of course, all I can think of is Southpark’s Cartman big-wheeling, and channeling his inner Sheriff- Boss Hog screeching “Respect Authori-TAH”
But we’re not. Mostly because I couldn’t think of how to responsibly incorporate Cartman into the meeting. Cartman Cake? Video? No, that’s not going to fly….
So back to slipping, I have the joy of coming up with snack for the girls, one that (divining Martha Stewart) fits the theme. Something like cupcakes.
Ohhhhh Cartman cupcakes! Uhh, that’s not gonna work…
But if it did, it would totally look like this:
Le Sigh. Le Funny. And totally Le NOT appropriate for 1st graders but totally Le Funny. Ok, maybe Cartman upper left corner would work, but definitely not nudie man 3rd row down, center. Dear God, you can tell the man is uncircumcised.
Jeepers!
So back on topic… as we’re having the local Harbor Master visit to chat water safety, I decided to go with sea blue cupcakes, circled by multi-colored goldfish crackers. Water. Fish. Cupcakes. Martha would probably wonder why I didn’t hand- and homemake everything from goldfish to paper cupcake wrappers (can’t you just hear her, “Laaaaadies, just cut down your sapling, crush the wood pulp in your handy home paper-maker…form into cups, dry… and voila! A creative and very special paper cupcake wrappers your guest will love AND cherish!”)
Having coming to my senses, and gone with Duncan Hines, I was making the cupcakes with The Toaster. She loves to bake, and was enthusiastically filling the cupcake tins, managing to get more outside than in the actual cups. Messy. Fun.
I was on clean up and this, my friends, is where my tale turns dark.
While cleaning up, I, La Betsy, snarfed up two HUGE spoonfuls of cake batter. Duncan Hines toxic, full of chemicals, sugar, raw! eggs, and oil batter-y spoonfuls.
Boy do I love batter. Raw (spare me the salmonella speech,) wonderful batter. Always have. I guess I could even be a connoisseur of the stuff. My fave is oatmeal chocolate chip. Pure heaven in a spoon, and when Ben & Jerry came up with cookie dough, I thought heaven had come a millennium or two early.
So I slipped. It seems stupid in retrospect. Two spoonfuls. No biggie. But as I said yesterday, I’d know. And I do.
So I’m taking Dr. Alejandro Junger advice to heart. Basically to stress over something, in the past, is toxic. So accept and move on. This little blog helps with a lot of that. I write it and walk away. Leaving the issue (and the stress) here.
Thanks for letting me share. Slips happen, what’s important is what you do after you fall.
You get up, dust off, and keep going.
That’s what Cartman would F%!K’n do.
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DD 10: Blame it on the…?
Bridget Jones’s Update of Day 10: BMI: 25.0(- 0.1) Ok, we’re back to zero. I can accept that. Activity Level: I totally took the day off. No regrets as I needed a break folks. Meditation: Does praying count? Dad was in ICU, but was released. Spoke to him and he sounds great. Will be back at work Monday. He’s just amazing. And prayers answered. Grateful. Brief Observations: Boy did I have some real cravings: chocolate and red wine. It was my mantra. Chocolate. Red-red-wine. Stress. PMS. Powerful combo. Consider it The Dark Force’s twin sister.
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Stress, PMS, worrying about my father… I don’t know but I managed to make it ’til the end of the day. Toward the end to the day I was jonesing for a Clean Diet no-no like chocolate or wine, like some sort of smack-addict in rehab, day 3. Oh! To have something oh-so-small to make me feel better. I could totally do it…
And just like Foxx’s song “Blame it the Alcohol,” I could blame it on a lot.
Aside note: Not only is “Blame on the Alcohol” a catchy tune and straight to the point, but the video is hysterical. I mean, you KNOW something special is goin’on when you see de rigueur video-vixens mix-it up with a bunch of notoriously smooooooth players… and one of them happens to be Ron Howard. RON HOWARD. Like Opie-now-major-director Ron Howard. Trying desperately to work his “player”-tude. I call that some inspiring casting and credit to Ron for tryin’.
So back to where I could totally slip up. Lord know I wanted to. I could blame it on a lot. Yea, I could totally slip and would even be forgiven by friends and hubby.
“You had a bad day.”
“With the amount of stuff going on in your life, you need chocolate… glass of wine… cupcake… fresh baked break with a dollop of Nutella (one of my top 50 faves listed.)”
“Jebus, I would have BROUGHT you the wine.”
Ohh, just writing this is ‘causing me problems….
But, the problem (and the solution) is if I slip, I’d know. I don’t need it. I want it. I just want an excuse to get it.
Here is where friends matter.
They take just enough of the load off. That one little straw. To save the camel.
Having a tough day, be it your Dad’s in the hospital, the neighbor/coworker/stranger makes a snarky comment or your kids are hellions, friends are absolutely key. They talk you down. They help you see the other point of view. They agree and let you vent. They offer. They just help. Flames did an necessary errand, Aloka sweetly emailed an invite to host my brood for dinner. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to be blessed with such good, good friends.
So I didn’t have the wine. The chocolate. The al-al-al-al-chol.
‘Cause I had nothin’ to blame. And all the support.
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DD9: Betsy and The Situation
Bridget Jones’s Update of Day 9: BMI: 25.1(+ o.1) Gain. Hmm. We’ll see tomorrow whether this is a temporary situation Sweat Level: Worked out though I was on the go-go all day. Meditation: I spent 5 mins on the couch, eyes closed listening to my breathing. Relax- chill-ax Brief Observations: Yesterday was a long, tough day. Dad in surgery, then in ICU. Sending him the best of the best good energy! Ended the night at my children’s school discussing major cuts, cutbacks, and increase class size. It was frustrating but I know our little community isn’t the only one affected by this horrible economy.
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This is going to be short post. I guess I didn’t lose any weight and quiet possibly gainws a wee bit. I think we’ll be watching the next few days and see what happens. It could just be temporary.
Things on the Clean Program are going well. I’ve been eating clean, drinking clean, eliminating, sweating, meditating.
That’s the situation.
Let’s talk about ANOTHER Situation. “The Situation” more precisely.
I love questionable TV. MTV’s Jersey Shore is, how do they say?, right up my alley.
Tacky, tasteless with oiled everything: Pooky, The Situation, J-Wow, et all are a walking, talking disasters. And they are hysterical. Unintentionally.
You cringe, you howl, you can’t believe you’re purposely wasting an hour of your life watching this super-crappy show. PBS it is not. But you can’t help it, like an accident on the highway, you craaaaane your neck to see what’s what.
Check it out. I dare you.
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My.CleanProgram.com
DD8: 1 Week Down, Easy & Hard with Lessons Learned
Bridget Jones’s Update of Day 8: BMI: 25.0(+/- 0) I must confess I weighed myself after the morning glass of lemon -water and breakfast smoothie so this is, at best, a guesstimate. Sweat Level: Day o’rest. Body sore from yoga. But defo Yoga=Good Meditation: One brief moment when I first woke up. Not a dedicated time yet, but working on it. Brief Observations: First off, realized I was off by a day yesterday. I had written a post that I have yet to use, numbered it Day 4 and based the rest of the posts off of it. Whoops. Bright side, I’ve done one week and learned a lot, mostly from my friend Flames and the bright-eyed members of the Clean Detox site, My Clean Program.
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I made it through the first trial: 7 days! And I am pretty proud of myself (so’s my husband which adds extra, special brownie points to the whole affair.)
No diet change or lifestyle change is easy, this one is easy because you have two Smoothies for breakfast and dinner, and it’s hard because you have two Smoothies for breakfast and dinner. The easiest part is smoothies in the morning. I really like making my Kale-Almond- Carob- Blueberry smoothie. It’s good. I like to sweeten it with organic Stevia extract from Trader Joe’s (a store I love.) Normally Stevia has a bad aftertaste, but in a smoothie, it works. The hardest is dinner. I cook for the family, who generally likes everything I can’t have, and I wait until the last possible moment (around 7:00-7:30pm) to make my smoothie, as I’m to let my body have 12 hours to digest & repair.
Lunch is easy, as I try to use the “make once, use many” approach by grilling chicken, veggies or making batches of “Clean” pesto prior. With a little planning, I essentially just have to combine, which is a good thing when time is short and you’re really hungry. The hard part is that food is pretty restricted. Basically no dairy, wheat, eggs, some fruit, red meats, sushi (or farm-raised fish,) sugar, alcohol, coffee, any diet soda, etc. etc. But after a few days, you get into a routine and it becomes easier.
Fitting in the required meditation and sweat sessions (exercise, sauna, hot/cold showers) has proven a bit hard. I like my sleep, my 2 year old like my undivided attention.
As far as lessons learned, I’ve made a few mistakes.
You see, I didn’t buy the pre-package kit. One, I don’t have $350 to blow and two, my good friend (and Clean Detox vet) Flames told me I didn’t need it. Matzel Tov! But also mean the impetus is on me to make sure I have all the components I need to do a proper Detox. What I respect about the Clean Detox program is that Dr. Junger doesn’t really push the kit, other than say it’s much more convenient. Which it is. So if you’re time pressed and laden with disposable-cash to burn, by all means buy the kit. You don’t have to think or research, it’s all included. And if it’s not, it’s optional.
So back to my issue- my mistakes. I was concerned I was missing some key items. Well, enter the amazing members of My.CleanProgram.com.
Thanks to Trilogy, Amanda and Jenny (and, of course, Flames,) I now have a complete list of what I need. And what I’m missing.
Seems that I’ve forgotten about including a Liver cleanse, as well as taking an inferior form of probiotics. Oh dear. They are pretty key items, to help detoxify my body and speed healing and rejuvenation. Basically all the good stuff. The website had proven to be a great resource for information, support, forum of recipes etc. Full of great people on a great adventure. I am grateful to them all.
So as a result, Baby Lug (the 2 year-almost-three not really a baby but will always be called that) and I hit the road tomorrow for the mythical Health Food Store on Rt 53 in the South Shore, MA.
Wish me luck.
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My.CleanProgram.com
DD 7: Great Skin & Yoga-bama-rama
Bridget Jones’s Update of Day 7: BMI: 25.0(- .3) Things are fitting better, so losing lbs and working out seems to be working. Hooray! Activity Level: Sweat! Day 2 of EA Sports Active
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I have great skin.
I know this because I’ve been told by no less than 5 people.
Today.
This is important to note because I am one of the 14 million people that have Rosacea. For me, Rosacea means red, ruddy areas areas on my cheeks and chin. Pretty mild.
Until a little over a year ago, I went through a very stressful time. In the matter of a month, my father was diagnosed with a malignant form of skin cancer, my beloved god-mother passed away and the economy tanked. I lost 30 lbs (true it’s a perk , but not when it’s done in a month) and I was emotionally hanging on by a shoe-string. This all played out on my face. I progressed from mild Rosacea (Type 1) to the pimples, pustules and plaques of Type 2, Papulopustular Rosacea. I got treatment, went on some pretty powerful antibiotics, and topical cremes and got it under control. No more pimples et al. but I still had the redness. I notice it also seem to flare up when I was stressed, or ingested too much hot drinks, red wine or sugary foods.
So enter Clean Detox. Not only is a stubborn rash on my ring finger almost entirely gone. But it seems my Rosacea is fading. I still continue using the topical cremes but I’ve stopped the antibiotic. The anitbiotic kills all the healthy bacteria in my digestive system along with the bad bacteria causing the Rosacea. People, that being my closest friends and husband, have noticed. Even today, without makeup, sweating up a storm at Yoga!
For this, I am truly grateful because, though it never really bothered me too much (except when I had the bad flare up,) it’s nice to be able to attack the problem without strong drugs. Plus I look better. Sweet.
Now on to Yoga. Haute Hot Yoga.
Thanks Suzy-Mu for bring up the idea of Hot-Ass Power Yoga as a good way to Sweat for the Clean Detox. Upon her suggestion, off I went to Open Doors Yoga Studios, where “Everyone is an Door That Opens to a Whole New World.”
Side note: that’s a pretty long, strong and wee confusing tagline. Maybe “You’re a Doorway to Whole New World” but still, I don’t get it. I think “Doors to a Whole New World” is a bit more to the point. But I digress.
Tag-line aside, I had an AWESOME experience. I went with 3 girlfriends of the best caliber: the aforementioned Suzy-Mu, Erin-Lov, and Aloka (no anonymous nickname, her rock’n name stands alone) where in the depths of hazy, hot heat I origami-ed my body into wild and wonderful shapes. My favorite (show above) is the “Bird of Paradise.” Which, of course I did not do — having been 10+ years from any sort of regular Yoga Practice. Smart move LaBetsy.
I watched in horror, astonishment and envy as the teacher and several students went from a sitting position, and pulled themselves up on one foot, all while clutching their other leg in, what can only be described as, human knot of hands, arms and leg.
It was awesome to behold.
In the end, I left happy, calm (finished with a good bit of quiet mediation!!) and ready to start the week. I had a supremely super experience at Open Doors Yoga, one that will definitely be repeated.
Onwards & upwards my friends, always fighting the good fight….
LaBetsy
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Herds three kids through life. Mainlines all things media, including questionable TV. SCUBA diver that longs to hang-ten.
