Natural Law of the Jungle: Dirty Old Men & Gold-diggers.

You know I speak the truth. As I see and have seen it.

So here we go-

On topic with the whole David Letterman “Jeepers… I’ve Been Sleeping With Subordinates” speech (which got him crazy ratings, and millions of YouTube viewings, but that’s a whole other post.)

To think men sleep with younger women, and not only that, with younger, nubile things that work with and/or for them.

Shocking. Simply shocking!

Uhh. No, not really.

I’ve worked both in entertainment and in business,  and to say two over-the-age-of-consent co-workers having a relationship, even an affair, is soooo not shocking.

It’s boring.

Look it’s pretty much the law of nature. Men of power/wealth/stature/fame (or some combo of all of the above) can pretty much sleep with anyone and, frankly, most the time… they do. Same goes in the wild kingdom- just watch Animal Planet and a few shows about Lions and Tigers and Bears.

Alphas get the chicks.

Oh my!

We humans have our own jungle and jungle laws. Affairs like the ones David Letterman have their own currency system. Just as the man may have some combo of power/fame/or fortune, the woman usually has a similar mix of youth and beauty. Each can draw off the other so to speak.

For fun, let’s just scan a few of the more May-December couplings. A few are from work.

Clinton and Lewinsky, Trump and Maples (& now Knauss,) Clooney and [just insert model/actress], Hugh Hefner and any “blond,” a male Kennedy and etc. etc. etc.

And the girls? Let’s face it, to sleep with one’s boss for personal gain– whether it’s for their career or bling or a “Mrs.” title– is such a cliché people just assume “gold-digger” first and “wide-eyed innocent” a real distant third or fourth.

Now, sure there are some that are seduced, or fall prey to the idea that what’s actually going on isn’t just an ordinary, vanilla-type affair, but the gosh-darn real thing. Some know an affair is just that- an affair. It has a beginning, a middle and it ends. Both parties walk away friends.

I hate to point out that, as long as both parties are at least 18, no matter how smarmy the deets may be, as long as both parties truly consent it’s fair game.

And none of our business.

Let’s move on.

And it works both ways. If it didn’t,  a Mae West, an Elizabeth Taylor Hilton Wilding Todd Fischer Burton Burton Warner Fortensky or the lyrical Barbara Hutton Mdviani von Haugwitz-Reventlow Grant (as in Cary) Troubetsky Rubirosa Gottfried von Cramm Doan wouldn’t exist.

Courtesy of The New York Observer

As for this sudden uproar over David Letterman’s confession, let’s put some perspective on the situation.

David Letterman likes young women. Roman Polanski likes young girls. David Letterman probably didn’t drug any of them have sex. Roman… did.  David had affairs with adults- if it was any more, believe me we probably would have heard about it either from his arrest or via The Star. News like that is just too juicy, worth too much (hence the $2 million blackmail.) Roman Polanski, on the other hand, is a convicted criminal.

Now there’s always the possibility there’s more there than him just having affairs. The crisis PR pro in me says if there were more “there” there, the public mea culpas he did on October 1 and October 6 were brilliant. Text book. Basically “I did wrong, I’m sorry, and I will try to make amends to those I’ve hurt.” But it could also be nipping any leaks of further information or exposure by 1) arresting the blackmailer 2) turning the story focus on the who, what, where and why of the affairs not “the terrible things I’ve done” 3) He ends the mea culpa by firmly announcing he won’t talk about it again, though he does only to apologize to his wife and staff. There is always the gamble that the story could grow bigger, but the immediate to longer-term focus will be on the affairs with his female coworkers. But this is just me being my nasty cynical self.

As for public outcry for him to be “fired”… this Puritanical view that people in position of power or fame should be perfect is ridiculous. It only adds increases the likelihood of extortion- which, for someone like David Letterman would probably be monetary, but for public figure, say a Senator or President, could be of a much more serious nature, such as compromising military or state secrets or influencing public policy.

But for Letterman? As he said, “I have my work cut out for me” with respect to making amends to his wife. Not only am I sure he wants to heal the emotional rift his transgression have caused to his marriage, but I’m pretty sure that, given his the demise of his first marriage happened after similar circumstances, there’s motivation both financially and legally not to trip any prenuptial “cheat” clauses, should this marriage end as well.

‘Cause in our jungle, there’s only one thing that trumps an alpha male, it’s a killer divorce lawyer wielding an iron-clad prenup.

But again, that’s really between him, his wife, his God, and their lawyers… and  none of my damn business.

And the take-away,  just because I’ve been humming it since I typed the title…