Goodbye Auntie Mame

“Life’s a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!” – Auntie Mame

This is a personal post.

You’ve been warned.

A year ago my very own personal Auntie Mame passed. Carmela Speroni.

It wasn’t a surprise but still shocked me to my core. I, being one of  the youngest, born when my parents were older than most, my grandparents passed early. Most gone by 16, all by 22, and the latter not after a long bout of debilitating senility. Throughout all Carmela Speroni, best friends of my paternal grandparents, godmother to both my father and me, became my default surrogate grandmother.

For me,  she was the best kind.

She was a character.

She wasn’t really Auntie Mame, but she wasn’t traditional either. She was chic, smart, cultured, loved good food, fine fashion and a really great glass of wine. And she liked to talk. She was pretty damn close to perfect for me.

Raised in San Francisco, she graduated high school at 16, UC Berkeley at 20 all in order to marry my Uncle Charles, her Italian tutor. This was in 1939. As my Uncle Charles (an true character in his own right, the man reminds me of the The Most Interesting Man in The World–  you couldn’t help but be drawn in by his charisma) rose to be the Fine Arts chair at UCLA, Carmela was responsible to entertain, fund raise for school. My Aunt Carmela and Uncle Charles was a love affair that lasted until his death in the 80′s. They never had children, and being beloved by many, they accepted guardianship of their friends’ babies and the babies’ babies and watched over these lucky godchildren as if they were their own.  I was their only god-daughter.

As I said, Carmela was a character. A Catholic, she was also on the board of Los Angeles’ Planned Parenthood (this in and of itself made her a great god-mother.) She wasn’t afraid to ask pointed questions, she religiously read the New York Times each and every Sunday. Well versed in both culture and pop culture, as well as politics, one had better bone up on current events before they visit. She always managed to surround herself with interesting people: artists, CEO’s. designers and chefs to name a few. Some of my fondest memories (and probably my love of food) comes from going out to eat with her. As I got older we would have boozy nights of great wine, fantastic food and fabulous conversation. She was my one of my first encounters with honest-to-goodness inherent chicness. She bought me my first “grown-up” purse, my first OMG boots and probably my first drink. Always remembered my birthday, usually with a bauble she found on her travels or, even better, a piece of jewelry that was hers (that Charles gave her) that she wanted to pass on to me. Most shop owners knew her by name, and since she didn’t drive (this in LA folks, where everybody drives) the cab company had standing times to pick her up, or called to see if she needed anything.

I was about 8 before I realized that she didn’t own the Bel-Air Hotel (#10 on the Betsy’s top 50- probably because of her.) To this day I would walk over GLASS for a piece of their coconut cake (Paula Deen could have easily stolen the recipe from them. The pictures the same. Really.) She once tried to convince me, while eating luncheon my grandmother, and after finding out that Jane Fonda was dining with her agents at the next room over, to crash and “get discovered.” I didn’t. I totally should have.

She passed away last year around this time. I’ve been slowly going through some of her personal affects that I inherited (most went to UCLA not surprisingly) reminiscing.  Hence this post. This past March I stopped by in Westwood, for a graveside chat and some limoncello, a favorite of hers.

My Aunt Carmela wasn’t perfect. By far. No one is.

But, she was perfect for me.

Carmela at UCLA library benefit. 90+ and still working the room.

And in my research I found this “gem” — the original “Auntie Mame” trailer. To say it’s a hoot is an understatement… Ohhh to live in the days when Ads were Ads, as unsubtle as a drag-queen’s Sunday Best.

2 Responses to “Goodbye Auntie Mame”

1. tom macKinnon says:

   August 12, 2009 at 1:28 PM

   Nice , you got her to a T .She tried to tutor me in Italian, and I am afraid I came up short, but she was international chic. I loved both Carlo and Carmella and you did them proud
2. betsy says:

   August 12, 2009 at 1:51 PM

   Hey thanks Dad. Means the World to me.