Path to bliss: Attack THAT thing.

BONZAI! (Japanese translation "Let's go CRAZY!")

I want to you attack something.

Yes, I am usually a “go with the metaphysical” flow kind of gal, but this time. This one little time. I want to you to kick some serious ass.

It is the road to bliss. Your bliss. Not mine (unless you tell me, and  please do, on the comment section.)

Not just anything or anyone that happens to pop their head in your office/cubical/kitchen/front door or evil lair. I want you to attack something specific.

Look around. Find it. You know what I’m talking about THAT thing. The one that thing you look at every fucking day with dread, embarrassment. The one you… sigh… will get around to when you have a moment.

THAT thing.

Get up. Go over and deal with it. Deal with it like a crazy person. It either gets filed, fired, thrown out, sent, delivered (NOW!) to the neighbor who passive-aggressively “ignores” you ’cause you been so lax in returning their stupid report/bundt pan/folding table/calculator/weed-whacker. (I love the word “weed-whacker,” just so you know.)

Snap on the crazed “oh lawdy… they’re gonna blow” look of determination and just deal with the mother-effin thing. You’re going to be shocked how easy it was to get done. And how freakin’ happy and … even BLISSful you’re going to be once it is done.

Accomplishment. Whew. Satisfaction with job well done.

Bliss.

(Repeat process tomorrow.)

Mad Men & The Liquid Betsy

Ahh, courtesy of AMC’s Mad Men (go to the site, the background music is worth it.) I got to  envisioning life in the era of Mad Men-  TheBetsy, functioning alcoholism, unfettered sexual harassment, a good martini, freaken fabulous (and fabulously uncomfortable) clothes.

Can you spot me? I’m the smokin’ hottie blonde in red, holding the ‘tini at noon.

“Rawrrrr” is all I can say. This career girl is goin’ places.

(To quote Mae West “Good Girls go to Heaven… Bad Girls go EVERYWHERE.”)

Cheers Snookies.

Dear Chica Who “Snatched-Flashed” My Husband

When: Couple of days ago, Lunchtime

Where: Apple Store at CambridgeSide Place

Next (Unconfirmed) Showing: Wednesday, 1:00 pm E.D.T. (RSVP may be required, please see below)

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Chica Who Snatched-Flashed My Husband:

Thank you. You made his day.  My hubby came home with a big grin and good story. And I get some good SEO for TheLiquidBetsy.com.

Sweet.

So here’s the breakdown: just minding his own business, stalking some innocent Apple computers, researching home-audio… He looks over to see  (BAM!) your crotch dusters open to the dark & curlies with the good-lookin’ owner  (you) beaming at him. Oh, he’s been flashed before (Miami, breakfast at a diner… but it’s Miami so that’s like saying he saw someone pick a booger.)  And up until now, it’s always been just boobs.

Well to say you gave him a big ego stroke is an understatement (versus a stroke, which, thinking about it, there might be high correlation in Miami of elderly strokes to flashing incidents… just a thought.) He’s a hottie (which I’ve already know,) but now he has (recent) third party confirmation… at the Apple Store no less.

So I plan on sending him again (I’ll come up with a reason… he’s a techno-apple-geek so that’s not hard) next week, say Wednesday? 1:00pm? You just bring the crotch-duster jeans and your smile. You may even have a rather large and enthusiastic audience this time. You can thank me later.

Hmm, perhaps this the new grass-roots in-store marketing campaign for Apple? Like they need it… how about other more-needy stores sponsor? Sort of like the secret shopper…. with more flash.

Thanks again.

Cheers.

TheBetsy

Oh, if you’re interested in attending the next… um show let me know. Hit the comments. If i get enough I’ll set up some sort of event RSVP. Bring your $1 bills, though I’m not sure she’s in it for the cash. Or your credit card (for the Apple Store.)  Drinks later at The Cheesecake Factory.

Full disclosure: an not sponsoring this event, nor am I being sponsored. Though I may totally hit up Apple & Cheesecake Factory for a kick-back if a lot of you eager beavers show up.

The Busy Persons Guide to Having it ALL….

Oprah: the definition of "having it all" (w/o kids)

I am overwhelmed.

You?

Mom, Wife, Start-up maven, Blogger, Foodie-on-Parole, Fashionista-ish, Executive Assistant & Social Dir. for Chatty Twins, a Charismatic Two year Old, and an Adopted Mommy to an Aggressively Affectionate Golden Retriever.

Me? Yes, I am.

The problem is I WANT it all: the doting mom, Wonderful Wife, Organic & locally-sourced Recreational Chef, Execu-babe, Athlete, Style and Design Aficionado, to name a choice few; and I WANT to do it all RIGHT. Not half-assed, not “just in time” but thoughtful, consistent and on point every time.

Well I can. Have it all. And I’m not insane.

Here’s the secret: You can have it all, just not all at the SAME TIME.

Seriously. And seriously lame. But the truth hurts.

One of my chicas, Cat, came up with the theory — you can have it all, just at different times in your life. She’s doctor that probably would be practicing emergency room medicine (she loves the high) but works part-time at a bucolic (that be rural folks) hospital in CT so she can be there for her children and husband. She eeks out time for the familuy, lives near some of the best ice cream in the world (cows out back,) but isn’t knee deep in the gun-shot wounds, punctured lungs and flatlines that make her swoon for all the right reasons. Nor is she taking the gourmet cooking classes or traveling to Skye with her fabulous travel compadre BETSY.

Now if you were a person of simple tastes, congrats you probably do have it all.

So, depending upon what you want out of life- you have to pick and choose your roles and hobbies. For example : young children and major careers, designer clothes, intricate Martha Stewart style dinner parties, and white carpeting just, I repeat, just do not mix. In fact it’s toxic. I can guaranteed from personal experience the express train to an overwhelmed freak-out.

So once I thought about scheduling “me” into slots into my life , rather than slots of time during the week I relaxed. So I deal. I’m a foodie-0n-parole. So my house will be fabulously decorated after my kids learn to use a napkin & stop ricocheting off the furniture. Scuba will be after the last child learns to swim and the nanny can travel. My career will be close to home and with flexible hours and limited travel so I can be there for most of my babies boo-boos, beach outings, girl scouts meetings, story hours, and movie nights.

As the babes get older (and as I do) I’ll add more, do more. Do less of others.

Look I am the first to admit I want it all, now. Patience is not an inherent virtue of mine. Though I am trying to learn. But with patience I can have the time to give all of me, all the facets of me, my due. I have to think of the present, what I can accomplish now. And that means prioritizing.

As I said the truth hurts, Priorities suck.

But they are just that… priorities.

And because it struck me as particularly perfect, a little Queen & Bowie:

Brutal Baby- The Teenage Media Consumer

Veruca Salt, original brutal baby from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 1971

You in media?

Social Media, Media Products, Newspapers, TV, Cable, Mobile Phones, Computers, Gaming?

You want to meet your customer? Really meet them?

Say hello to Matthew Robson, the 15 year old “analyst” from Morgan Stanley (UK.) His recent piece “How Teenagers Consume Media” is causing a sensation, even being featured the front page of the Financial Times. He and his mates are your customer now and for the the next 20 years. Socio-econo-techn0-politically developed and served fresh. He’s being shaped by our recent past, present and future. He’s preferences will shape our world as he (and his pals) buy & consume, create and creatively destroy.

By just writing this sensational piece he’s probably already changed the future media landscape.

Out of the mouths of babes, the truth. Brutual. Beautiful. Honest. Complete with Oompa-Loompas lyrical commentary.

What are you going to do with it?

I just because I love this- Veruca Salt’s demise in 1971′s Chocolate Factory. Brutal Baby. Brutal. But perfect.

FLIP it baby, FLIP it REAL good.

The Sexy Little FLIP MinoHD Camcorder

Warning: Technology has struck again.

This is going to be quick, because I’m trying to train myself to be brief. And you probably have something else to do: RSS feed, emails, TV, Pilates, competitive disco dancing. You know, the usual.

So my husband brought home a FLIP MinoHD Camcorder home.

We have kids, and the hubby was, at one time, almost semi-pro photographer. So we document, photographically speaking, every step, snot-bubble and goofy grin from the “Wild Bunch,” as my progeny has been nicknamed.

We have kids, so that’s also why we’re on our 4th camera and 3rd video camera. They drop, they get used. They get left. On a bus. (OK the last one is not really true but it has almost happen an ungodly amount of times I feel I can at least include it.) Mostly they stop working for us, metaphorically speaking.

Too big, too small, too complicated, too cumbersome…. the litany of why goes on and on.

Enter the Flip MinoHD.

Pros: Slim and lightweight (3.3 oz,) Easy (One touch recording & digital zoom a true Idiot’s Delight,) Nifty (Flip-out USB arm plugs directly in computer, launches built-in FlipShare software)

Cons: We only bought one (so this one totally mine, hubby can borrow.)

First off, I am not being reimbursed, paid or sponsored (via cash or swag) by FLIP for this love letter of a review. I just like it and if fitted the “Good is Good” mantra of TheBetsy.

So if I’ve been too subtle up to this point, let me say I love this little tasty piece of high-def technology. Smaller than an iPhone it fits in one my pocketbook (the big and little ones)– and though it only takes 60 mins that really is plenty for me and the myriad of parties, events, holidays that I usually film anyway. For business this is great for quick interviews (yes, I have one in the works for TheLiquidBetsy) and if you are at all a person in the visual arts (photo/design) this is a MUST or if have a project that you might need to want to take quick visuals for (decorating, marketing, etc.) What I like most about it is that it is with me. All the time. At the ready. And at $192 (at Amazon.com)  it is inexpensive enough to make it worthwhile.

On an interesting business note, FLIP was purchased by CISCO- for $590 Million. Bandwidth. Bandwidth. Bandwidth. But that’s another story folks.

This might even make one of my top 50.

And because I know the title made you hum a little mad Salt ‘n’ Peppa here you go:

Mudslide-O-Rama

I am stuck at the National Hotel in Block Island. Massive thunder and lightening show, drinking Mudslides.

Yeah, it doesn’t suck.

Have you ever found yourself stuck someplace only to have it turn out to be better than any alternative?

So here I am drinking (celebrating my hubby’s birthday) commiserating with all the other stranded mainlanders watching Mother Nature put on one HELL of a show ( the last piece of
Lightening touched down right near us in Old Harbor!) eating peeled shrimp.

I find myself thinking about the past few days in this island, it lives and breathes, for the summer visitor dollar. They’ve had a rough go of it with the past few weeks of rain. My hubby and I have made a game profiling BI businesses, from B&B’s, restuarants to t-shirt establisments. Think of it- high season is just July & August, with perhaps a few weeks either way. “The Block,” thrives on repeat customers, weddings and family cottage rentals. Good marketing and high-quality customer service.

But TheLiquidBetsy is always on the scout for business/marketing/innovation and I’ve seen a few things I’d like to share:

- 2 Oars Taxi: (Note: Oars is a picture but I can’t do that on my iPhone…yet) I witnessed the finest, most simple way to ensure repeat business … honesty. While eating lunch at Three Sisters( lunch place I’d recommend) a 2 Oars taxi pulled up, the driver seeking a family eating lunch there. Why? To return a $10 bill he felt the father had accidentally over-paid. Which he had.

Brillant.

That day, the simple act of a taxi driver driving back over his route to return $10, and ended up making 3 or 4 new customers in the process. Probably more in word of mouth, as Three Sisters was PACKED for lunch- the only thing they do- and after he left about 3 others commented on how great that small act was- and how they planned to recommend them to friends coming soon (incl. TheBetsy here.)

Which do think was better for the taxi driver’s bottom line? $10 or multiple long-term referrals?

- The economics of living on an isle. That is a tough racket.

Short of being independently wealthy (yes, please!) these people are born hustlers, in the finest sense of the word. Sure there is the surly college student doing the half-ass summer job. But see a real islander in action is to know they have about 2 or three gigs, often at the same time, to support living here.

I met a woman who rents her home and cleans houses after deciding to stay here on her 40th birthday. Nice as can be, and no regrets. To quote Donna Summer, “she works hard for her money.” Contact Sullivan Real Estate for great houses and rentals.

Often we see shopkeepers DJ’ing at The Yellow Kittens (a good place to lose a few brain cells while listen to live music and where my hubby’s 97 year-old grandmother played hooky with his grandfather back when they were courtin’.) Also the manager of the Sea Breeze, where we stayed & highly, highly recommend for a relaxed, lovely B&B experience, was saying she works at the grocery store during the winter. “You got to be willing to do anything and work hard.” And for the hard-core islander that’s “the truth, Ruth!”

So, finally, the rain & thunder & lightening have subsided a bit, though the mudslide still is a kickin’. I say good- bye to one of my favorite (check “Betsy’s Top 50) places in the World.

Cheers.

Note: I posted this on the iPhone using the WordPress iPhone app… in the middle of Block Island Sound, with links. That’s impressive. The technology out today is just so innovative. Am in awe.

I am totally deadly now.