Bite Me Dunkin Donuts. You’re the 70′s Detroit of Doughnuts.

This in response to my Twitter tirade on Dunkin’ Donuts – I promised to expand my 140 character posts into sometime more readable. So, as promised,  here ya go.

A week or so ago was National Doughnut Day.

I love doughnuts. Not on par with cupcakes, or Nutella, or Burn Notice (on USA Network…) but a good doughnut and an ice-cold glass of full-fat milk can be a heavenly experience. Problem is, I live in the North East of the U.S.A. which is pretty much Dunkin’ Donuts territory. So back to my story…

Most places offered a free doughnut for the day (with some sort of purchase, natch) and Dunkin was no different. So being the thrifty (e.g. cheap) Scottish lassie I am, I made a detour with Baby Lug in tow for our free doughnuts. Wondering why in the heck have I not had a doughnut in a while… I mean I love ‘em, right?

Wonder no longer. Dunkin’ Donuts’ offering is embarrassing.

Now my young son loves Dunkin’- but he’s two. He doesn’t know any better. But at Dunkin’– they should. Call me “a marketing person who happens to be a foodie” but if you have it in your name (even if it’s misspelled) the product should be good.  My husband argues that no one goes to Dunkin’ Donut for the doughnuts, they go for the coffee. Silly rabbit Betsy.

It should matter.

Look I don’t expect much in a pastry from Starbucks Coffee or a salad from McDonalds (though they’re not bad in a pinch.) But crap doughnuts from a donut purveyor? That’s just sad. Or worse, it’s just complacency on the part of Dunkin’ Donuts and THAT’S unforgivable. It’s like Detroit of the 70′s– just because you’re the only game in town doesn’t mean you can slack off. Not in this economy. Not ever.

What also irks me is how Dunkin’ takes over a territory. It’s very similar to Walmart- they move into a town and wipe out the local Mom & Pop doughnut shops with convenience and consistently decent coffee. But what they lack is a good doughnut.

They seem to want to offer good food. They hired the ever perky Rachel Ray. Their menu boasts breakfast items, flatbreads, etc. Though I don’t know anyone how has ever really eaten one and enjoyed it. I tried to look at their site to find out more about their menu development and doughnuts… and found nada outside nutritional info. Not even the executive chef that run’s their kitchen. Tons of ways to order coffee though!

What I do know is they are mass produced at the lowest possible price point. Not in small batches, not a whole lot of variety outside of differing kinds cake, and variations of glaze and the god-almighty playdate staple … The muchkin. No bearclaws, no old fashion, no coconut.

Oh and the quality of their cake and glazed? The former has too much nutmeg, the latter is just meh, innocuous and nothing special. Too puffy and always tastes slightly stale. What Dunkin DOES do is make the most of these two basic recipes by using them as the base for most of the rest of their doughnuts. Sure the y have Boston Creme and that doesn’t make variety. And they always have that “just trucked-in taste.”

I think I spent most of my tweets trying to get Winchell’s to buy Dunkin’. At least with Winchell’s you get more variety out of a franchised doughnut. But the best of all is the little doughnut stores that dot the beaches, Main Streets, and corner stores of our great nation. Made early and fresh by people who actually own them.

Perhaps this is the next trend in food? Gourmet doughnuts. Now that is something I’d pay more than full price for!

Move over Magnolia Bakery… the era of the designer doughnut may just be here…

And lest you forget what is was all about Dunkin’, here’s your own 1983 commercial:

One Response to “Bite Me Dunkin Donuts. You’re the 70′s Detroit of Doughnuts.”

1. christy says:

   June 21, 2009 at 1:11 PM

   I don’t know/remember where you live, but if you ever find yourself in Ocean City, MD during the summer, get yourself to the 64th Street Bakery around 7am for the best damn donuts this side of the Mississippi. Glazed, Boston creme, jellied…I could go on and on.